It's Not My Fault I Know Everything

It's Not My Fault I Know Everything

By Jamie Kelly

Book - 2009
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Baker & Taylor
Jamie Kelly documents events in her diary as she becomes dog-in-laws with her enemy, Angeline, her class's journal-writing assignment goes badly wrong, and her friend Isabella starts being nice to Angeline.

Scholastic
New York Times Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with another hilarious, candid, and sometimes not-so-nice diary!

Dear Dumb Diary,

I went back and read some of my very oldest diaries. The entries say things like "I eated salad dressing" and "I got a Barbie shoe stuck in Stinker's nose again" and "The vet was mean to me about the Barbie shoe so I tried to bite him but vets are quick at not getting bit because dogs try all the time but dogs don't usually kick so I did that."

What amazed me was just how dumb I used to be, considering how smart I am now. There must have been a day when I just woke up smart.

It's an eventful month for Jamie Kelly. Stinker and Stickybuns' litter of puppies has arrived -- which makes Jamie and her nemesis Angeline "in-laws by dog." Ugh.

Jamie's class at Mackerel Middle School is doing a unit on journal-writing, and someone's diary falls into the wrong hands.

But worst of all, Angeline and Isabella are becoming . . . friends.

Dear Dumb Diary,

It's not my fault I know everything.

Okay, I don't know where Timbuktu is, but I refuse to know that. Even if somebody told me, I would flush my brain like a thought-potty and wave goodbye to Timbuktu as it swirled down my brain hole.

I know everything that I WANT to know.



Publisher: New York : Scholastic, [2009]
Copyright Date: ©2009
ISBN: 9780439825979
0439825970
Branch Call Number: J PAPERBACK
Characteristics: 131 pages : illustrations ; 20 cm
Notes: "Apple series"--Cover page [4]

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s
serena_28
Apr 17, 2017

It was soooooo funny . I read it about 8 times how much I loved it .

t
Tinkerdanielle
Mar 22, 2016

Hilarious book! Pretty good.

u
u1536000297839
May 04, 2014

I WANT TO READ

d
DaisyCosh
Jul 20, 2012

I thought it was one of the better books by Jamie Kelly. Good job!

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

good and funny to read!!!!!!!! lolz

j
Jasleenrox
Jul 30, 2011

LOL!! these books are awesome!!!

p
Preetpaul Grewal
Jul 18, 2011

the puppies R SO CUTE AT THE END Stinkers daughter is cute

r
RieRie
Dec 02, 2010

I loved reading it soooo much!
It was so funny. I own it and the free
diploma is awesome!

u
Ucod
Oct 04, 2010

good book I have it

s
Sargay
Feb 04, 2010

i love these book they are hilarious!

Quotes

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SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“My pants cut the cheese. Let one fly. Baked a batch of brownies.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“How Superheroes Make Money:
- Spider-Man knits sweaters.
- Superman screw the lids on pickle jars.
- Iron Man, as you would suspect, just irons.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“I'm telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holding a chain saw. There's just no way to really prepare for that.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“Love makes the world go 'round but I'm pretty sure money has to do with it, too.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“Things Isabella Wouldn't Care About:
- Titanic sinking again.
- Metror striking Earth and landing directly on top of world's most innocent panda.
- Titanic sinking again and this time the entire crew is puppies.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this is exactly like somebody trying to gently color on you with a thirty-story building.
Without dwelling on the tragedy, I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry to Mr. Purple and the surviving Purple family.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“never underestimate your dumbness!!”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“School prepares you for the real world... which also bites.”

Age

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red_alligator_4472 Jul 06, 2013

red_alligator_4472 thinks this title is suitable for 8 years and over

d
DaisyCosh
Jul 20, 2012

DaisyCosh thinks this title is suitable for All Ages

green_lion_371 Jun 26, 2012

green_lion_371 thinks this title is suitable for between the ages of 8 and 14

n
Namineni
Jun 13, 2012

Namineni thinks this title is suitable for between the ages of 10 and 13

u
Ucod
Nov 02, 2010

Ucod thinks this title is suitable for 9 years and over

Summary

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SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

Jamie Kelly looks back through her very oldest diaries, and is amazed at how dumb she used to be considering how smart she is now.

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